Full disclosure: more truths about my disappearance...

As well as nurturing a growing tummy, I've also been exercising the old grey matter over the past 6 weeks and I'm now fully certified as an NLP practitioner and Creating Your Future coach.  You want that in plain English?  I'm now fully-qualified and have the skills to achieve that goal I talked about here and here - I can help people to "discover their unique sparkle and live their best life".


And so now what?  It's time to take a leap and put it into practice.  I'm busy planning and designing my own personal take on what I've learned and how I can use it to help people to live their potential.  For now, all I'll share is it's pretty personal to me - I shared with you all my low point and I'm using it as my inspiration.  Watch this space...

Image: pinterest

My new look...

So, I've been hibernating for the past week or so.  I started the new year full of energy and enthusiasm and then .... I lost my mojo a little!  Here's the reason (*excuse): there is lots going on at the moment that has been keeping my grey matter super-busy - exciting times on the horizon that I'll soon share.


All in all, I've neglected this little space. But today, I'm back with a new look.  Call it a premature spring-clean if you will - BasilBe has had a little makeover, courtesy of the fabulous Danielle Moss.  What do you think?

{Quality time} ... in Paris

Oh if only to rewind a whole year - I'd be back in beautiful Paris with my mum and sister.  It was freezing cold but there was more than enough mulled wine, hot chocolate and .... oh, French champagne to keep the chills at bay.  A white-out in the UK meant our flight home was cancelled so we had to stay an extra night ..... What a shame, I hear you cry - except we could only book into a flea-ridden hotel next to the train station!  On the plus side...

Our Parisian highlights:
... Walking away from Le Tour d'Eiffel over the bridge to turn and see it light-up.  I know Parisians find it tacky but we LOVED it!
... Drinking champagne on the Champs Elysee
... Taking a wrong turn and ending up on the beautiful Place Vendome
... Queueing forever for the Monet exhibition at le Grand Palais.  We made our own entertainment
... The Christmas market at La Defense where we devoured raspberry macarons and met Santa Claus!

Free prize draw: Friend up for grabs

Lucky you!  You've won a free draw into the Friendship Lottery and you could win one of the friends below:

Friend One: Takes time out of her day to ask how you are and really listens to the answer.  Tells you you look good.  Makes you laugh.  Gives you a hug.  Looks out for your best interests.  Is willing to put you first.  Celebrates your successes and encourages your talents.  Helps you to see your true qualities.

Friend Two: Starts the day by criticising your outfit.  Tells you you really ought to get back into your swimming/yoga regime.  Hasn't the time in the day to look out for you - you're firmly last on the list.  Reminds you of your flaws.  Overlooks your talents.  Pushes you to do whats expected rather than listen to what your really want.

Ok, I'll give you a little time to think about it.  Hard decision?  Well, I have news - they're both me.  I was Friend One and Two yesterday. 

I was lucky enough to spend time with one of my girlfriends yesterday evening and was the friend I strive to be - supportive and game for a laugh.  Friend One.  I don't always get it right but I'd like to think that I make the effort to be 99% there.

Then there's Friend Two.  I was lying awake in bed with my mind racing through the day that had been and I realised - I'd given myself nothing but a hard time all day.  I have eldest child syndrome, a typical Type A, so I'm always going to be driven and push myself, but I realised this had gone into overdrive lately and, quite frankly, I'd been a rotten friend to myself.

So this week I'm going to be a little kinder to myself, a bit more easy going and, in my mum's words: "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Image: One

{Take action} How can you "be amazing" today?


Now this is my kind of bar!  I love this photo from the anniversary edition of the delicious Rue Magazine with the non-too-subtle reminder behind the bar.  (I want me some!)  Ok, so it's Tuesday, not my favourite day of the week.... for me, it's all too easy to groan at the sound of my alarm clock, fuel myself with coffee before "getting through" the day ahead with, already, one eye on my sightline to the weekend.  Not a great way to spend the 52 Tuesdays in the year hey?!  But maybe this Tuesday can "be amazing"....  I'm going to make this my Tuesday PB.

... Cutting back on the caffeine
... Making my to-do list manageable (as opposed to humanly impossible!)
... Taking some time to chat to people I cross paths with rather than losing myself in work work work
... Noticing all the little amazing moments throughout the day

Have  an amazing Tuesday x

Image: One

{Take action} Are you brave enough to go solo?

How do I put this? Hmmmm?  I don't like people looking at me.  Or more specifically, I'm not that good with attention.  I'm more than happy for someone else to take the limelight and I'll be content to be the one cheering on from the sidelines. 

I'm a tough cookie where it counts but sometimes the simplest things can unnerve me - like eating in a restaurant alone.  I've had to do it in the past when I've been working away from home and not been inspired by the safety-net of the room service menu, but I'd take a book or a magazine with me to lose myself in at the table.  Yes, the prop was essential in portraying the independent woman identity but, even with this, I'd self-consciously sit there and eating would be a functional (and fast!) exercise.

But last night was a mini-breakthrough.... A table for one for just little old me. No book, no magazine and I even restrained myself from absorbing myself in my iphone.  This might not sound like much for you well-travelled women but it was a personal milestone.  To sit back, leisurely enjoy my scrumptious dinner and take in everything that was going on around me - the couples indulging in a quiet sunday meal for two, the big, boisterious family gathering at the next table, and the girlfriends chatting away at the bar - I was perfectly content and just a smidgen self-conscious.  This is major progress.....

FEAR: False Evidence Feeling Very Real.....?

So I have tummy flutters this morning.  One of my least favourite/most feared things faces me today .... standing up in front of a room and speaking.  I have to do it frequently with my work but it never gets any easier ..... All those eyes looking at me!  Attention!  Listening to my words .... if I manage to get them out!!

To tell myself I can handle this, I'm listing all the things I've been fearful of in the past that were, well, not that bad:
... Travelling to South-East China when I have a little (no, super-size that) fear of flying
... Taking a flying lesson in a small aircraft - see above
... Moving to a new city on my own without knowing a soul
... Buying my apartment and being responsible for paying for it
... Asking a boy out
... Telling a boy I wanted out
... Quitting my job to go freelance
... Public speaking on numerous occasions in the past

In a nutshell, I lived to tell the tale. 

What's your fear?  And how do you tackle it??

One

My talented family #1: An exquisite wedding cake

This week I'm sharing a few special moments from our wedding - particularly special as I'm showcasing the wonderful talents of some pretty fantastic people.

First up is our wedding cake made by my mum.  It's difficult to find the words.  It really was a breathtaking work of beauty and a true reflection of all the time, energy and love she threw into the mixing bowl.  Mum 'got' the look of the wedding from the off and came up with this wonderfully elegant design which included intricate, decoupage-like flowers on the top and bottom tiers, art deco-style trim and, of course, a little sparkle.  Oh, and those flowers on the top - they're not real flowers.  They're hand-crafted sugar icing roses.  So, to our super-talented mum we say thank you from the bottom of our full hearts.

 I love that she snook our sparkly initials into the design...

 Mum's intricate handiwork...

 Cutting the cake.  It felt like a crime!

People were wow-ed that these beautiful roses were handmade

And here she is, my mum.

"Hide not your talents.  They for use were made.  What's a sundial in the shade?"

- Benjamin Franklin -

{Take action} Dream with your eyes open

"A goal without a plan is just a wish"

- Larry Elder -

Do you dream with your eyes open?  Dream of a different life - maybe a different home, new job, altered image?  What is it for you?  I'll put my hands up and say I'm a dreamer.  But I'd like to believe that I do a little bit more.... I hope I do something to make my dreams happen.


I've said before that vision boards are one of the many ways that I try to dream a little (and sometimes BIG) dream, but there comes a point where dreaming has to turn to action.  Today I thought I'd share a few top tips to taking action:


Get a clear line of vision:
What is it you really want?  Is it a new home?  If so, describe it.  Close your eyes and imagine the front door, walk in and soak in everything you see - make it come alive in your mind.  Dream BIG.  Once you have a clear and vivid picture, make note of it in whatever way suits you (words, pictures, sound).


Break down:
How far away from your dream are you?  If you can imagine time passing as a movie, see yourself in your gorgeous new home and press rewind.  What do you see as the home before?  And the one before that?  Get clear on the steps that will get you there .... without a lottery win, that is.


Speak up:
How many times have you made a commitment to yourself and done absolutely zilch about it?  (Hmm, new year's resolutions spring to mind!)  You need to make yourself accountable.  Seek out a friend or family member that you can share your wild imaginings with.  Often making a commitment verbally to someone we love and respect can be just the conscience prick we need to get off our bottoms and start making things happen.


Now, over to you ....


Photo: One

{Take action} Look to the future

It's payday tomorrow and so I'll be indulging in my guilty pleasure - buying a stash of magazines that I'm unlikely to read. Well, not cover-to-cover at least.  And before the Eco Warriors out there have me in front of the firing squad in defence of the trees that were sacrificed to create the sweet-smelling, glossy loveliness, let me assure you that they don't go to waste.  No no, I'll rip them to pieces.  

For years now, my friend Jane and I have created mood-boards to mark the new year and all we want to achieve in it.  It's cool now to look back over the years and see how these goals have evolved ... and frustrating to see the ones still making an appearance.  (Will I ever get my finances in check?!)  So I was intrigued to read Andrea Baxter's post on Design Sponge today about how she's used a vision board to clarify her business goals, even favouring it as a tool to a traditional business plan.  While I've enjoyed creating these over the years as a fun way of altering and charting my course, it's encouraging to see someone so successful reap professional rewards from the exercise.... and it gives me an excuse to do more!

In the spirit of putting my goals 'out there', I thought I'd share with you all my latest creation....

Do you have a vision board you'd like to share?

{Take action} Be of service #1

Before: are we going to transform this in one day?

 The gorgeous butterfly focal point of the garden

My handiwork: the 4ft butterfly that will adorn the trellis of the garden

So near but yet so far....

What a difference a day makes!  I was one of 20 volunteers that worked on a very worthy Be Involved project in inner city Bradford this weekend.  Greeted with a patch of grass, we all braved the elements and grafted to create a gorgeous Butterfly Garden for the neighbouring school children.  The pictures show the almost-finished result before the rain beat us!


Aside from working alongside fabulous people all day, the project gave me a real feel-good high.  I was doing things I've never attempted before that tested my personal boundaries (nope, never used a jigsaw before and would unlikely be called 'green-fingered' by those that know me!), yet it was the anticipation of the children getting use out of it that put the biggest smile on my face.

{Take action} Quality time

I'm a doodler.  A list-writer.  I permanently carry a notebook with me - sometimes, not just one.  In fact, I have a stash of notebooks beside my bed - one for every 'focus area'.  I have so many thoughts whirling around my head that I need somewhere to channel them.  Of late, it has been 'Wedding Notebook' that's been seeing all the action, getting all the quality time, while 'Project Freedom' notebook has been positively neglected, unloved and working an inferiority complex.  And here's the science bit - the health warning of being a girl on a mission to live her very best life is that I get a little impatient when things plateau, when I'm not creating and adding to my Project Freedom pages - the doing nothing zaps my energy.

So, I'm planning a date for me and the old notebook.  Me and you, and a hazlenut latte on Saturday afternoon?  It's a date.

{Inspiration} Dream a little dream...

Source: One

{Take action} Seize the day

‎"Dream as if you have forever. Live as if you have only today." James Dean.

I was being my usual, impatient self before, checking to see if the new issue of Rue Magazine had been published (sadly, no) but, while I was visiting, I did find this fantastic quote by the inimitable James Dean.


The dreamer bit I can pull off with ease now, it's the 'live for today' mentality I struggle with.  If I had only today:
- I'd have bounced out of bed when the alarm went off, rather than pulling the duvet up around my ears
- I'd have worn my beautiful, impractical shoes rather than saving them 'for best'
- I'd have been singing in the rain, rather than cursing my soggy clothes


What would you do differently? ...


Photo: One

{Take action} Put your back into it...

"Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be" - Clementine Paddleford

The word of the day for my sister and I yesterday .... "sludge". If you put my sister and me (and a bottle of wine!) in a room, we can spend hours motivating each other, writing lists and dreaming BIG .... and it's guaranteed I'll come away with a renewed fire in my belly.  But, somewhere along the way, that fire fizzles a little and we end up back in 'the sludge'.  Something stops me - both of us - from taking a daring leap.  Why is that?  


Part of me thinks maybe we've spent too long being 'good girls' and wanting to do the sensible thing, set a good example (you get the picture) .... Or maybe that's just a big, fat excuse and the pair of us just need to grow a backbone. It's time to get out of the sludge Lol, are you with me?  


Photo: weheartit

{Take action} Ready to play? What's the day?

Are you young/old enough to remember BBC's Playschool? As well as my fond memories of 'Humpty', my favourite bit was where the presenter would choose a 'magic window' and it would open wide to reveal the theme of the day's programme. At that point, depending on if they picked my favourite window (square), I'd either be gripped or in a sulk.


Well, I'm now 33 years old (old enough to know better) yet sometimes I still have a tendency to default to sulk-mode if the day doesn't get off to an ideal start. (What, they picked the round window? There's no flippin' milk for my morning coffee? Do I really have to get up?) But my new morning regime of a little meditation has had yet another bonus - I'm starting the day looking at things the right way, happier. The things that had irrationally got my heckles up before really don't bother me in the same way and, on the flip side, I'm noticing more to be happy about. Sounds like I'm onto a winner, right? Maybe the penny's dropping - maybe I was choosing to look through the wrong window.  I'm not sure how long it will last but it turns out the square window's not that bad ....


Photo: bbc.co.uk

{Take action} Change the record

I'm a snoozer. I must hit the snooze button about four times in the morning before I eventually wake up. To put it mildly, the alarm bell is not my most favourite sound in the world!


But this past week I've turned it around - and I thought I'd share.  Possibly the last person in the world to join the iphone generation, with my new gadget came a new alarm and, rather than opt for the high-pitched tones I've been used to, I decided to opt for a piece of music. And it's upbeat and super-positive music at that. Very aptly, it's Teddy Pendergrass singing "Wake Up Everybody" and it kicks my day off to a positive start. Listen here


What's the song that would put a spring in your step?


Photo: pinterest

{Take action} Make today perfectly imperfect

Photos: Pinterest and La Dolce Vita

{Take action} I'm just a girl who can't say no

I never was the sporty type at school.  It wasn't for want of trying, I was well aware that the sports teams were the fast-track entry to the in-crowd.  It was more that, as one of the smallest in my year, I was often last-picked for netball, hockey, (the list goes on) and so I fell out with sport.  Drama became my extra-curricular thing, with my bit-part in the school production of 'Oklahoma' the first time I tread the boards. (Front row, second in from the left: that's me.  Yes, the small one!)

I remember watching in admiration as one of the 'big girls' playing 'Ado Annie' belted out "I'm just a girl who can't say no" to the proud parents in the audience.  It's not quite so admirable now I am thirty-something 'big girl' though and still a self-professed girl who can't say no.  Worry not, it's not a "feller gettin' flirty" that's my problem - no, it's that I constantly seem to be running half an hour late for my life!  The final straw was a last-minute meeting that over-ran on the evening of my fiance's birthday.  I simply take on too much and it's got to stop! 

As far as I can, without a radical change in personality, it's a gentle goodbye to people-pleasing and hello to a new resolve to be more assertive. 

It's a lesson Ado Annie could definitely have found useful - the minx!

{Take action} Try a little Rocket yoga

Yesterday evening I tried something a little new: Rocket yoga. Nicknamed 'the rocket' as it's said to "get you there faster", this is quite a shift from the steady, flowing hatha yoga I'm used to.


Created in San Francisco by Larry Shultz (while on tour with cult rock band The Grateful Dead, it's said), the practice uses combinations of the first three Ashtanga series and combines them at tempo.  Although I've been practising yoga for years, I went to a beginners Rocket class which highlighted the challenge of this form - it combines advanced and beginners poses in one sequence, moving from one to the other at quickening pace.  


You need to have had your Weetabix to give this a go - it relies on stamina and endurance and, with repeated lifts, persistance. At first I wasn't sure that the lack of calm in class suited me (as the sense of wellbeing from yoga is what motivates me to practice), however after working up a glistening sweat you're certainly rewarded with feel-good factor in bucket loads.  You definitely feel you've earned the relaxation.


Will it 'get me there faster' though? ... I'll keep you posted.


Take a look here: youtube.com

Photo: jenniferjarrettyoga.com